May 19

I haven't blogged for almost a week now, and it isn't without reason.  I have to admit that I have fallen off the wagon of "being grateful" for something everyday.  Monday was a horrible day at work.  After much reflection in the evening, I came up with a game plan as to not have a repeat on Tuesday as I was in the same class.

I was grateful Tuesday that the day was a stark contrast, much much better!  However, I do have to admit I was blindsided as I was asked to fill out a "witness" report of something which took place on Monday.  I won't go into specifics other than, I admit I made a mistake, apologized to the students on Monday of such said mistake, and released it.  There are always consequences for behavior whether desirable or not.  This one was not to be desirable.  Anyway, long and short of it is...I won't be going back to that school.  The 4 day job assignment for next week is cancelled, and life goes on.

On Wednesday, I happened to have taken myself out of the system so I could go to my doctor.  I had been feeling an abnormal amount of anxiety for over a week, blood pressure had been elevated, I had been bitten by a tick Apr 29, etc.  The doctor had asked, "do you know the source of your anxiety?"  I stated he wouldn't believe me if I told him, but he coaxed it out of me.  I told him it is "Spiritual Warfare".  Within myself, I always become uneasy when a premonition is coming down the pike of the unknown.  When it is such an unsettled feeling, all I know is I have to fervently pray for God's protection that He will bring me through whatever it is.  With that being said, after the appointment when I got home is when the situation from Monday's job came to its climax.  I felt such peace after it happened.  My only explanation (because I felt very remorseful of the situation) is that God is protecting me from a much more grave situation that would have happened next week in the 4 day assignment.

The only thing that is left for me to do is overcome the "negative" thoughts that Satan likes to run through my head, and read constantly God's Word of redemption and love.  Truth be told it's easier said than done.  But, I have faith that this too shall pass, and with God's help, I will be able to walk in His fullness of Grace, and regain my confidence that I "can do all things in Christ who strengthens me"  Phillipians.